Exhausted. Overwhelmed. The only words I can think of to describe how I feel.
Poor Little Alysse is having such a hard time. Mommy is having an even harder time, emotionally. Let's just say we are now at day 12 of Alysse's snotty nose. Seriously?
So last week was a rough week. Alysse cried. And cried. And cried. At first I thought it was the snotty nose. But she was only snotty at night. She cried all day long. If she was a awake, she cried. She would only nap for a short time and wake up crying again. If Mark tried to hold her, she screamed. No one could hold her but me. Nothing consoled her except for me. And what consoled her most was nursing so we did a lot of that. Avery and Addy are out of school so they want all my attention to play with all their new toys. The weather has been cold and rainy so we can't go outside. Needless to say it's been pretty tense in our house. Mark was off work M-W b/c of the holiday. He's building shelves for the office so he's been in the garage, MIA. There were a few times he came into the house and saw my face and realized I was struggling. I couldn't put Alysse down. The times I did to use the bathroom or change clothes, etc, she screamed and I had to let her scream. It was nonstop. I had a feeling it was colic. She's sooooo gassy and I can tell her little tummy hurts her. Mark went to work Thursday and I put the girls in open gym for 4 hrs at gymnastics. They needed it as much as I did. Friday the girls went to a play date at Bryana's so I decided to take Alysse in to the dr. I couldn't take anymore and hoped that she had a solution for me. I also wanted to ask her about Alysse's rash on the back of her neck, the congestion she STILL had, and her opinion of the eye dr we are seeing.
She checked her ears - perfect. Everything else was perfect too. She weighs a WHOPPING 10 lbs 6 oz!!! So she's growing and eating well. She said her tummy felt like there was way too much air in there. Yep, she's gassy and the crying makes her swallow more air making her more gassy. Her best guess was that it was a milk protein allergy that Alysse couldn't process. So what does that mean? No dairy for me! De ja vu! I had to eliminate dairy with Avery too. I swear this little girl resembles so much of Avery as a baby. Except for her size! She went ahead and gave a prescription for prevacid and said if she doesn't get better after 5 days of me eliminating dairy, to start the prevacid and see if it works. So Friday I had no dairy... we'll see how things are on Tuesday.
She said the rash is just a heat rash that babies get and to put hydrocortisone cream on it. She said as long as the congestion isn't getting worse we are ok. As far as the eye dr goes, she recommends seeing a Texas Children's dr. My gut told me I needed to go to them but I needed her recommendation. Dr. Romero seems ok but I don't have a warm fuzzy feeling about dilating my one month old's eye. I think there should be other measures taken to check her eyelid before doing anything drastic. She agreed.
Well, Friday night Alysse starting moving her head back and forth over and over and over. It was weird. She wouldn't make eye contact with me and I couldn't get her attention. It scared me. I am super nervous about her having neurological damage from the shoulder dystocia. So when she started doing it all, I worried something was wrong with her in that aspect. Was she having a seizure? Was she having uncontrollable movements? Mark said she was just trying to get away from the lights. Well that night when we got up to nurse, she did it again over and over, this time pulling on her left ear. She's 6 weeks old but that baby can grab that ear. She kept pulling at it and moving her head back and forth while whining. Ear infection. Well I guess that's better than a neurological disorder. But it was Saturday. Awesome. I hoped by the time we woke up it would be better. I emailed her dr about it and asked if she saw fluid and that could possibly be the cause. She wrote back and said she saw no fluid and her ears were perfect. That if she kept doing it during the day to take her to the after hours pediatric clinic. Well, she kept doing it when she woke up so on to the clinic we went. After waiting 2 hours, the dr confirmed that there was nothing wrong with her ears. Her best guess was that there was fluid draining from her nose to her ears and it was bothering her. There was no infection but we had to stay on top of it b/c it could turn into one in an instant. I asked if the rash had anything to do with it and she said most likely not, that it's just normal baby skin sensitivity.
Alysse was still really bad all night, crying as she turned her head, still pulling at her ears. All I could do was worry that something was just not right with her. She eats and cries just fine. Poor baby. Snotty nose, gassy stomach, heat rash on the neck, possible ear ache.... she can't catch a break. And all can do is just hold her and sing and try to comfort her. I'm just as helpless as she is.
Thankfully I've had my mom through all this. She went with me to take Alysse yesterday. Since it was a clinic they didn't have a special room for infants. We had to wait in the car and mom went in periodically to check where we were in line. It was raining so I was fortunate not to have to get the baby out in it every time to check. Mom also told me to take it one day at a time. That if Alysse just has gas, a rash and an ear infection, then she's doing good. There are other moms with babies in the hospital who would gladly take my place. She's right.
Today she seems happy but still turns her head and grabs her ear. And her rash is worse. Then after talking to my friend Kathryn about it, it hit me - it might actually be the rash thats itching her. She's moving her head back and forth to scratch it. The rash is also around her ear so maybe she's grabbing it to scratch it? I put the cream on it for the first time today and took her shirt off. As long as there is nothing touching her neck she doesn't move her head. So now we are in sit and wait mode. She's going to go shirtless and sleep on her tummy until we know for sure what's going on.
I have noticed that she is sleeping really well and not as gassy so maybe it is the dairy that's hurting her tummy???
I forgot how stressful it can be with a newborn. It's worth it though...I just love her so much.
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