Avery, Addyson and Alysse: Alysse's Birth Day

My dr arrived in my room pretty quickly, I guess close to 10am. We all cheered when she walked in and couldn't believe she got there so quickly. She got her gear on and got everyone and everything ready. They told me to start pushing at the next contraction.

The problem was that I couldn't feel ANYTHING from my diaphram down, totally different than my first two. I tried pushing but how do you push without being able to feel what you are pushing? I felt no pressure, nothing. I also couldn't breathe very well so when I tried pushing, I ran out of breath within seconds. I felt defeated and just knew it would probably take me a while to get her out. I pushed for a few seconds, 2-3 times and they said her head was out. She had lots of dark brown hair!! Then they said I must have been having another contraction to push again and do not stop pushing. So I did what I thought was pushing, panting in between breaths. They told Mark to grab my leg and pull it back as far as he could. Then I realized something was wrong. Everyone was telling me to push as hard as I could and when I looked at Mark... everything hit me... HARD. The look on Mark's face was horrible. He had panic in his eyes as if he were watching one of his daughters being tortured or something. I've only seen this look one other time when Avery was a baby and I knew it this was not good. I immediately looked down to see Alysse and I as soon as I did, I wished I hadn't. Even 5 days after her birth I still have this horrible image of her in my head that I can't get out. She was the DARKEST, DEEPEST purple I have ever seen. I didn't know people, much less babies could turn that shade of purple. I started to completely panic. I sat there looking at my purple daughter, with her oxygen completely cut off, thinking that she actually might not make it. My first sight of her was purple - not a royal purple or LSU purple. This was a bad purple... like a goth purple. I am not a dr but I know enough that this was really, really bad. What was happening??? How long was she purple? Was she alive? Was she ok? I shouted at them asking why she was so purple. They had to get her out of me!!!

They told me to push as hard as I possibly could, that she would be ok. I was so frustrated that I couldn't feel enough to push as hard as I could. I looked at Mark, then at Alysse, which seemed like eternities and pushed with everything I had. My dr got her out with that last push and all the nurses and everyone were running around, taking care of her. My head was spinning and I couldn't breathe very well...so the next part is such a blur. But I remember them putting Alysse on my chest for a millisecond. She wasn't moving, crying, breathing or anything. She was COVERED head to toe in meconium. This wasn't the same meconium that Avery had on her. This was thick chunks of brownish green mucus. They picked her up and sweeped her over to Mark where I heard them tell him to cut the cord. Then they took her to the warmer to stick the tubes and everything down her throat and suction everything out. She still wasn't crying or moving and was still a light purple. I was still panicking, which seemed like eternities again. All of a sudden we heard a loud cry and the purple faded into a reddish pink color. I could finally relax a little. Ok she could breathe. She didn't have oxygen for what seemed like hours (but I was later told it was 30 seconds), but did she have brain damage? Was her spine ok from them pulling her out?

As the other nurses took care of me, I realized that they must have all been pretty worried b/c they all forgot about the cord blood banking. They already put the cord up, but got it out in time to salvage the blood. It was the last thing I cared about at the moment, I just wanted my daughter to be ok. 5 days later after I know my baby is ok, I am hoping they got enough to bank b/c we paid so much money for it. CBR should be calling me soon with the status.

I immediately started shaking profusely, as if having convulsions. My dr reassured me that it was normal. Between the epidural and the drop in lactid acid, my body was trying to adjust. I still couldn't breathe well and I certainly couldn't feel from my waist down. But seeing Alysse crying and moving around now made everything so much better. They kept telling me how big she was... that she was very healthy. When they weighed her, it was official - 7lbs 11oz, 19.5 in!!!! Big Baby (for me anyway)!!! Avery was 6lbs 5oz and Addyson was 6lbs 13oz. So this was much bigger than my first two. She looked so healthy and now her color was becoming normal. She was officially born at 10:19am on November 21, 2012.

They cleaned her up enough to bring her to me to see. I wanted to hold her so bad, but I was scared I would drop her b/c of how much I was shaking. My dr reassured me that I would not drop her, that once the weight came in my hands the shaking would stop. Sure enough, as soon as they put her in my arms, my arms stopped shaking! It was such an emotional moment with her finally in my arms. I felt competely drained, so thank goodness that stress only lasted a few minutes. I'm not sure I could handle much more of it.

The moment I put Alysse up to me to nurse, she latched on like a pro. The girl has not had a problem nursing since. If nothing else, God gave me the ability to provide lots of milk to my babies, and provided my babies with great suckling capabilities. We are great matches for each other!

My dr came to talk to me about everything while I was trying to recover. She explained that Alysse was just too big for me and her shoulder got stuck coming out. Her head came out just fine but when it was time for the shoulders, they were too broad. So the birth canal was squeezing her chest and cutting off her oxygen. Mark later explained that my dr forced her hand inside and pulled Alysse's armpit to get her out. My dr said it was a very good thing I got induced and didn't wait until the next week b/c she would be been over 8 lbs. There was no way I could deliver an 8lb baby vaginally. I don't want to even think what would have happened then since we knew the head would fit but not the rest of her body. Looks like my prayers were answered about getting induced, I just didn't know it.

My dr also said that the meconium had actually been there for a while and didn't happen during delivery. She thinks Alysse got too big for my uterus and outgrew my placenta. Apparently when they do that, they have bowel movements in the amniotic fluid (and of course swallow it). I am so happy that this is our last child b/c it would be too risky for me to get pregnant again, especially since each baby gets bigger each pregnancy (in general). I also thank God that this was a girl. Seeing that Mark was over 9lbs, if we had a boy he'd probably be big too. I probably wouldn't be able to carry him. God knows what he's doing giving us all girls for sure (not that this was the sole reason).

I sat in recovery for 4 hrs, waiting for the feeling to come back in my legs. I can't explain the feeling I had of mixed emotions. The overwhelming love for this new little baby, combined with complete fear that something bad was happening to her during delivery, combined with relief that she was ok. As I heard her cry from across the room, it made me cry... almost like we were still connected somehow. Her emotions were my emotions, on top of all my other emotions. The bond between a mom and her baby is so strange.

While I waited for my body to recover, Avery and Addy came to see Alysse for the first time. There's no feeling in the world like watching my daughters see their baby sister for the first time.

Here is Mark cutting the cord...